Always needing to know why, is something I struggle with daily. Whether I am desperate to know what is causing pain in my body or why a potential client won’t email me back, I find myself obsessing unhealthily and getting caught up in the “why” far too often.
Sometimes There is No Reason
A situation we have all encountered is when working hard on something while connected to the internet and suddenly we lose connection. The outage may be for minutes or hours. Either way, it is frustrating and upsetting. Often, we will never find out the reason why these things happen. The problem is when we let ourselves get sucked in and start to ruminate on them and then make that the problem.
I should have learned by now that, odd physical ailments are part of my makeup. Things come, and things go. They always have a shelf life and don’t stick around for very long. However, when I am in the thick of one (pain or not), I always go down that rabbit hole and start worrying and wondering. I make up elaborate and always unfounded stories about what must be happening and why. Recently a kind friend reminded me, “you don’t need to know why, just trust that it will go away, it always does, and there is never anything seriously wrong with you.”
Use Your Tools to Ward Off the Demons
Since I am a creature of habit and although I am working hard on self-improvement, I am prone to doing things over and over again. I have been trying to remind myself this week of my friend’s words. I don’t need to know why. This too shall pass; everything always does. We are living in a world of motion, action and constant change. I should remember that, but sometimes I don’t and need to remind myself. It all boils down to control. Me wanting to know why is just another way I want to control things. It works out better if I exercise acceptance and faith instead.
When Reaching for the Why, Reach for Something Better Instead
When the avalanche of crazy thoughts starts to rain down on me, I know to stop, drop and meditate. Sometimes just calming my mind for a few minutes helps me to stop wondering why and start leaning into my faith in God/The Universe instead. That is a much better feeling than going off the rails ranting in my head about all the possibilities that will never come to pass.
There will always be things in life that make no sense and come at the worst possible times. Being human means, we often want to make sense of tragedy and discomfort, but often there is no reason and no answer that will make us feel better. Instead, we can reach for something more helpful like gratitude, faith, and friends to help guide us back to where we belong until this too passes.