When I was young, I envisioned an adult me that was very different from who I am now. I had very specific plans for my professional and personal life. None of which panned out the way I thought they would. It got me thinking. While reading a book the other day, I started to wonder, am I who I want to be?

Do Your Values Align with Your Actions?

Many of us have strong values of honesty, diligence, and reliability. Some of us want to be kind, loving, understanding, and compassionate. In your work and personal life, are you living your values, or are you at odds with who you want to be?

If you believe in absolute honesty and work in sales and the company forces you to use messaging that you know is false or misleading, it can cause a rift in your subconscious between what you know you are and who you are being. It’s called cognitive dissonance. It can make you feel depressed and anxious, among other things.

Why Are You Not Being Who You Want to Be?

Have you ever stopped to wonder why you are living the way you are? Are you trapped in a job or a relationship that forces you to behave in ways you don’t like? Why do you stay?

Perhaps you don’t know yourself all that well and don’t know how you want to be. Do you regularly question your motives or wonder why you do something? It’s good to ask ourselves these questions and conclude who we really are and who we want to be.

Question Everything

It’s good to question everything. It’s critical thinking. Don’t take my word for it, or anyone else’s for that matter. Do your own research and find out about things. Make it a regular healthy practice to ask yourself these questions:

  • Why did I do that?
  • Is that who I want to be?
  • Would saying that hurt someone?
  • Should I do that?
  • Should I question that?
  • Is my job/partner/etc. worth sacrificing who I really am?
  • What traits do I want to live every day?

By asking yourself these questions as you roll through life, you may get some surprising answers that lead you to positive change.

For example, sometimes I work with clients that force me to write things that I feel are dishonest. I don’t like how I feel when working with certain people. Their values contradict my own; therefore, I feel uncomfortable and anxious. Although they call it marketing, I feel like it’s lying.

I have learned to listen to my body, and when I feel that way, it means I should probably sever ties with that client. No client or any amount of money is worth feeling crappy over.

You Always Have a Choice

If you aren’t being who you want to be, make changes now. You shouldn’t live in a way that makes you feel bad about yourself. Don’t underestimate the influence others have on us and our beliefs and actions. If you feel pressured to act in a specific way, it’s probably not a healthy situation.

Remember, despite the circumstances and what you might believe, you always have a choice. Do your own thinking and make changes so your body and mind align with the same values and priorities. You will feel much better if you stick to who you want to be.

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