I had a situation a few weeks back, and it made me wonder; does everyone feel guilty for having bad thoughts?
Digging the Hole Deeper
What happened was, I was feeling overwhelmed by a person in my life. During a hectic week, this friend was demanding more time of me than I could comfortably give, and I was having trouble setting boundaries. I found my thoughts turning to ways of cutting this person out of my life completely. I got more and more stressed about it, and the thoughts kept coming. I plotted complex ways to continue avoiding them rather than dealing with it. Each time I put them off though, I felt guilty and then resentful of them wanting too much from me.
Then out of the blue, this person did something incredibly kind and selfless for me, and I felt horrible. Here I was mentally cutting them out of my life, and they responded by being kind and loving.
Unspoken Words Still Hit Their Mark
Even though I never did or said anything overtly mean to them, I do know that energy interacts with energy across space and time. Therefore, there is a good chance that this person felt me pulling away and felt my negative feelings towards them.
I discussed the situation with a friend, and he believes that there is no good reason to feel guilty, but he does not share my energy beliefs either. Being empathic, I feel what others are feeling regardless of what they say or do so I am very sensitive to my own energetic vibrations and what I am putting out into the world. The last thing I want is to hurt someone by hurling my negative thoughts at them. Whether they know it or not, they will feel it, and that is my responsibility.
Mindfulness Instead of Trying to Keep a Lid on It
I have been contemplating how to handle this in the future. I think by the time my negativity turns to guilt; it is too late. I have already poisoned the water with my thoughts. So, it’s then that I need to take action and undo the damage. Even better, I will try to be more aware “in the moment” when I am having these thoughts and instead of letting them build up, I will set boundaries, be more open and honest and explain where I am coming from so I don’t feel put upon and they don’t feel like a burden.
The thing to remember is that we all have bad thoughts from time to time. It does not mean we are bad people; we don’t control every thought that comes into our heads. But as long as we take notice and become mindful of it so we can deal with them, then no harm is done. Mindfulness helps me tremendously, and I use a lot of tools and resources to keep me on the path every day.
I truly believe there is always a better way. I am incredibly grateful to be able to stop and examine these things and look for a kinder, gentler way to be in the world and co-exist with others. I am sure I am not alone.
Do you feel guilty over your bad thoughts?
Please comment below.