I have a good friend who is completely comfortable accepting whatever emotion he is feeling in the moment that he feels it. I am so jealous of him sometimes. It seems like I am always fighting my emotions. If I am feeling fear, I want it gone. When I am angry, I tell myself I shouldn’t be. If I feel guilty, I try and wash it off with distraction.
Even if my friend is in a bad mood and I point it out, he says “it will pass.” I have no idea how someone can accept every emotion so readily. It is truly admirable. Instead of fighting them, he just allows them to be, and they dissipate quickly. All my resistance to my feelings only keeps them alive and kicking longer.
Stop Being So Reactive
I am currently engaged in a meditation program that is helping me improve how I deal with my emotions. Through it, I am learning how to allow myself to feel the emotion without trying to change it. I will admit, that is incredibly hard for me. I like control especially of myself, my emotions and my behaviors. So the idea of just allowing myself to feel or even harder leaning into what I am feeling is foreign to me. However, I am getting better at it, and it is teaching me amazing things.
The program started out showing me how to react less to sounds, emotions, thoughts, and sensations. It was incredibly helpful. I was on edge when I started it, very sensitive to noises and it has helped me dull the noise inside and outside of my head. Now things that bothered and distracted me, no longer do. After that, I was eager to learn more.
Instead of Fighting, Lean Into It
The second phase instructed me to stop fighting anything that was going on with my mind or body. Right after completing it, I had a couple of days with a bad stomach ache and then a headache following that. During those awful sleepless nights, I fought hard to end these sensations. I tried everything from EFT to meditation and anything else I could think of to stop the pain.
Being in constant pain is hard. However, I finally got so tired of fighting it and trying to change it I decided instead to lean into it as the practice taught me. I said to myself “ok, fine if you want to feel this way, let’s do it.” I continued to repeat this mantra over and over for a couple of days. Then I awoke yesterday with zero pain anywhere, and I felt incredibly good. I also felt lighter emotionally. I think the pain was representative of something I needed to process emotionally and fighting it was only impeding its progress. Once I finally allowed it to run its course, it was over, and I felt better than I had in days. Emotionally I feel great!
The Same With Your Emotions
I have since tried this with my emotions, and I have found that they don’t stick around that long when I allow them just to be. The meditation gently suggests “noticing and taking stock of what is there, but don’t try to change it in any way.” It is also really helpful to notice it out loud with a statement like “ok, I am feeling angry,” or “this is fear.” I think it validates the emotion for your higher self and acknowledges that you are allowing and accepting of whatever needs to happen. I don’t even ask the questions what or why anymore. I am just happy it works.
Take Back Power by Letting Go of Control
Being a person that likes to be in control and manage how I feel, this is hard for me, but the results are powerful. I am no longer at their mercy for a tortuous amount of time, because I respect them, allow them to be, and they move on so quickly. Physical pain and emotions both seem to follow suit as long as I don’t try to interfere.
It may seem backward but try it for yourself and see if you have similar results. Just let your emotions flow through you, notice them without trying to fix it, or change anything and I bet they will resolve quickly and effortlessly. You might just find that you feel better than you have in ages!