I watched the entire Dexter TV series years ago when it came out. It was truly unique at the time, very shocking with themes that pushed the envelope. The idea of a compassionate serial killer choosing to murder only “bad guys,” was fascinating.

Back when I watched it, I was suffering from some complex health issues and wasn’t very happy in my life. I was in a relationship, and my constant health problems took their toll on both of us.

As my boyfriend and I watched the series together, we both had the same feelings about Dexter’s sister, Deborah. Deborah is played by Jennifer Carpenter and was for a time, the lead actor’s real life wife. However, in the series, she played his sister.

Deborah

For a variety of reasons, we both despised her intensely. We could not stand her immature behavior, her silliness, her loud, brash mannerisms and her filthy mouth. Nor, could we stand how much she tried to control her brother and other people.  We hated how poorly she handled interactions with just about everyone. It seems like in every scene she showcased her insecurity, ignorance, control issues and self-pitying behavior. We were annoyed by her snap judgments about other people and her constant overreacting. I was especially irritated by her impulsiveness.

Due to how much we hated her character, we almost stopped watching the series. But in the end, we did finish the entire last season. However her character left a bad taste in our mouths.

Different Perspective

It’s been years since I watched it, but I was bored the other night and decided to re-watch the series. During the first few minutes of the first episode, I remembered all that hate we had towards Deborah, and I cringed, not wanting to feel that again.

However, as I continued to watch, I got a shocking surprise! As I devoured each episode, I found myself experiencing Deborah in a whole new way, as though I had never seen her before! It baffled me that I could see her so differently. Why didn’t I hate her?

I felt overwhelming compassion and empathy for her pain and suffering. I felt intrigued by her innocence and impressed by her genuine effort to insert herself fully into her life. She doesn’t shy away from anything, she doesn’t hold back, she is all out there, and I found myself respecting her courage. Her naked vulnerability and simple desire for love and acceptance were incredibly compelling. I felt humbled by her open expression of these emotions and her ability to keep going when things got impossible. Her bravery inspired me, and I was stunned to find myself envying her ability to admit when she was wrong and accept responsibility for her actions. She wore her fragility like a badge, and I found it endearing.

Jennifer Carpenter is an Amazing Actress

Because of all this, I started to notice how cute and sweet she was as a person. It was like I could see into her soul, the real her and I was evaluating her from a unique perspective. She has now become one of my favorite characters!

My hat is off to Jennifer Carpenter and her delicate yet precise portrayal of this damaged human creature and her struggle to grow and change and better herself, in a rough, male-dominated world. The magic of her portrayal is in her subtleties, a slight facial tweak or a single word said or even not said, pure genius.

So What Happened to Change My Mind?

Of course, this is not real-life, so there are no variables that changed, she was doing the same things and acting the same way as before, so why do I see and experience her so differently now?

Well, this is what I think happened. Nothing changed with the series, but I have changed a lot. Some of my goals in my EFT work, were to heal and remove some of my least favorite character flaws, judgment being one of the biggest. Some others were martyrdom, insecurity, self-pity, controlling behavior and difficulty with conflict.

Through my energy work, I have learned that “ things we see and hate in others; we need to work on in ourselves.” I think that back when I watched the series, I was not ready to look into the mirror and see a reflection of all those flaws and Deborah was my mirror.

I see so much of myself in her. I can be bold, loud, intense and passionate, just like Deborah, and I used to be ashamed of these traits, and I tried to suppress them as best as I could. Now, I embrace who I am, and I use my passion and enthusiasm to reach others struggling and help them find healing. It feels good to be someone that people look to for answers and be able to voice my opinion and share what I have learned confidently.

Marker For Change

I thought a lot about how this all played out and examined it from every angle, making sure I didn’t miss any valuable lessons. I am so excited to see the growth in my spiritual development. This marker of progress has helped me see how much I have changed and how far I have come.

In any process, sometimes it is hard to evaluate your progress, so this was amazing to me. I am encouraged, wanting to work even harder to judge less, accept more, view with compassion and love always; not just TV characters but everyone in my life.

Change is Possible!

Another beautiful example of the power we have to change ourselves, and our lives if we work at it. I am so grateful for my spiritual teachers who helped me be conscious enough to appreciate and take note of this incredible miracle. Without my energy work, it may have slipped by unnoticed; what a shame that would have been.

In your own lives, keep your eyes and heart open to be aware of these miracles happening and lean into them, really soak them up, it’s what makes our lives purposeful and all that extra love heals us all.