There is this incredible story about Esther Hicks where she was leaving a seminar during a break. She entered a service elevator to avoid the crowds due to her celebrity status. A man transporting laundry stepped in with her. He began explaining that she was in the wrong place and that this elevator was not for guests. Then with a beautiful smile on his face, he gently let her off the hook by saying “but you didn’t know.” This kindness was not lost on Esther, and it moved her to want to hug the man. She explained to him that she had gotten permission to ride this special elevator. She then returned his wonderful phrase “but you didn’t know.”
What a Powerful Message
I found this story compelling because his approach is so strikingly rare. One man who dares to act unselfishly and so openly loving to a total stranger. Unlike the rest of us who continually seek blame and reach for shame to react to other people’s behavior. His only concern was for her feelings and making sure she knew it was ok, and no harm was done.
It makes me want to know this man. It makes me want to be a better person like this man. Since I heard this story and shared it with my best friend, he and I have been using it regularly in conversation. Whenever one of us is ranting or complaining about someone, the other person gently interjects with “but, he/she didn’t know…” It always stops us in our tracks, and we laugh. Then the person doing the ranting, repeats it and I swear to you since we have been doing this, it instantly releases all anger, resentment, and blame in that very second.
Small Change, Big Impact
I think this is a precious lesson for us all to consider. Instead of immediately jumping to blame and assuming that the other person knows the harm they are causing you, why not just this once give them the benefit of the doubt. It feels so good to quickly let go of anger and let them off the hook.
The funny part is they will never know this even took place, but I am feeling tons of relief from this new, little practice. It also helps to show me just how often I make assumptions and jump quickly to blame before considering all the facts.
My Challenge to You
I wanted to share this because so many of us are reaching for ways to be better people and ease the stress of life and interacting with others. We are all in this constant spiritual journey together and the more ways we can find to smooth our conflicts, we all benefit.
Just for one week, try this simple phrase to let go of irritations and resentments quickly. Then you can get back in the momentum of alignment and creating more abundance, love, and joy in your world.