Let’s face it; relationships are hard. Even the good ones require work and constant attention. Perhaps as a species, we weren’t meant to maintain long-term close relationships with just one person. The divorce rate in this country seems to support that. Regardless, most of us are in a relationship and need all the help we can get. Here are some quick relationship tips to turn things around fast.
Tip #1 – Text Some Love
Whenever I am home alone and feel irritated by something my romantic partner has done, I stop, pick up my phone, and send them a love-soaked text. Some of the things I send are:
- I am so grateful to have you in my life. 😍
- I love you so very much. 😘
- You mean so much to me. 🥰
- I can’t wait to spend time with you later.
Sending these texts does two things at once. First, it lets me completely let go of my irritation or anger. It also sends a sweet burst of love to my man, who responds in kind.
I am redirecting my negative feelings into something positive, and it’s a win-win for both of us. It doesn’t matter what he did or why I was upset; it’s a healthier choice to let it go and express a little love.
Tip #2 – It’s None of My Business
Most couples argue because of something the other person said or did. Or maybe both of you got into a heated discussion, and you both said things that weren’t kind. The bottom line is that it often boils down to control. I used to be a super controlling person. I have found a way to stop doing that.
I adopted a radical new attitude a long time ago. Whenever I start stewing about something I didn’t like about my boyfriend, I decide that it is “none of my business.” It may seem strange, but it works. Once I started using that mantra for everything, I cared less about his actions and could focus more on myself and my happiness. It sure eliminates a ton of potential arguments.
See how far you can take this. I stretch it to the boundaries of things that would drive most people crazy. If you think about it this way, it’s for MY peace of mind. It’s not even about him. I get to choose what I care about and what I let go. It’s a much healthier mindset for us both.
Tip # 3 What if We Were Just Friends?
Another great technique to turn things around is to treat your partner like your best friend. How would you act if it was your best friend rather than your romantic partner?
Would you do things differently? Would you speak kinder and not cross certain boundaries? Would you give them a pass?
The love of my life and I broke up for eight years. During that time, we fumbled our way toward friendship and eventually became best friends. We learned how to treat each other with kindness, compassion, and love without all the built-up resentments and anger from the past. We stopped trying to control each other and allowed the other person complete freedom to be exactly who we are. What a refreshing shift.
When we rekindled our romance a few years ago, we kept all these friendship boundaries in place, and we treat each other just as well now as we did during our friendship years. Viewing your partner as a best friend, is one of the most impactful relationship tips you can use.
Tip #4 Detach and Focus on You
I spent seven years in Al-Anon learning how to deal with the addicts in my life. The coincidence is that the first thing they tell you is not “how to fix the alcoholic” but to take the focus off them and put it back on you. Many newcomers didn’t like this very much. They wanted the playbook for changing their alcoholic’s behavior, but it didn’t work that way. Al-Anon has mastered the art of detachment, and so can you.
Whenever you are obsessing about your partner’s actions, take the focus off them and focus on you. Dig deep into some self-care. Meditate, read a good book, take a relaxing bath, or do a tapping session to relieve unwanted emotions. Just be sure to keep the focus on you and not on them. It gets easier with time and takes a lot of stress off the relationship.
More Relationship Tips and Inspiration
Over the past twenty years, I have learned a lot about developing healthy relationships and letting go of toxic behavioral patterns.
I am finishing a book on the subject, and I developed a coaching program to empower women seeking more fulfillment. I teach them essential skills to transform themselves and their romantic relationships via live video call sessions. Through self-awareness and personal growth, I guide them in changing their behavior to cultivate positive change within their romantic partnerships. Additionally, I support them in fostering independence and self-improvement, enabling them to become the best version of themselves within and outside their relationships.
It’s so much more than just getting good at relationships. It’s also about improving ourselves to be the best we can be in all areas of our lives and finding joy again. It takes some work and a radical shift in perception, but the rewards are priceless. The skills and relationship tips you learn will benefit you for a lifetime.
If you want to learn more about my coaching program or book a session, fill out the contact form on this site and message me. I would love to help you.