Today I realized that I have a real problem with letting go. I find it difficult to let go of the past; let go of people, things, and emotions. I have a bad habit of grasping on tight and refusing to let go of things, even when they are not good for me.
Holding on like a pit bull is something I used to do in arguments. I would keep the fight going until I could make one more point, and another, until we were both exhausted and forgot what the original point of contention even was. That is a part of myself that I never liked, and I worked hard to change it. But I realize now; I still have the behavior of not letting go, just in different areas.
Grasping or Resisting
If I am not resisting something I don’t like, I am grasping too tightly to something else like a life raft. All this grasping and resisting simply keeps me in a state of “wanting,” which means I am never happy.
My Daily Calm meditation today was about this very subject, and even before I heard it, I saw the signs. Over the weekend, I worked on a new project for a client. I will be doing a lot more for them, but this was my first one, and I drove myself crazy wanting it to be perfect, I ruined all my time off. I gripped it so tightly that I lost touch with the fact that this is an excellent opportunity, and it is supposed to be fun work, not stressful.
Peace Comes from Letting Go
The theme continued when I read a quote on Instagram from Yoda (from Star Wars) about when you let go of your need for people and things, you will find peace. I remember thinking about it and a man I know and how he “should” apply this logic in his own life and how he would be so much happier. Funny, at the time, I didn’t realize how much it applied to my life too.
I often keep myself in a state of unrest by holding onto an idea, an argument, or something I want or need. My friend has a great saying he loves to sprinkle about “how important is it really?” He is right; nothing is really that important. I usually blow things way out of proportion until they feel out of control, and then I feel overwhelmed.
When it comes down to it, nothing matters that much. It surely is not worth ruining my time off and stressing myself out over a simple assignment which actually turned out great. By the end of the weekend, however, I was discouraged, disappointed with it and thought it was junk. I had lost my perspective because I wouldn’t let it go and I could no longer see the truth because of fear. I woke up today with a fresh perspective and ready to let go.
The basis of the Daily Calm meditation was instead of all this grasping and resisting; true mindfulness is accepting everything (good and bad) in your experience, no matter what. This week, my goal is to try to allow more, let go easier, and stop resisting things that make me feel uncomfortable.
So much of our pain and suffering comes from holding onto the past. Whether it is the death of a loved one, a broken heart, or some other stumbling block. How good would it feel if we were better at letting go?
Won’t you join me in loosening the grip a bit this week? I think we could all use a little space between what we are holding onto and the sweet peace that comes with letting go.