Like many people, I used to hate uncertainty. I wanted ironclad guarantees, lifelong warranties, promises and assurances that were inescapable. I was looking for security in all the wrong places. The ironic part is that things went wrong, things broke that didn’t get fixed, and I got hurt. So regardless of any perceived security, I thought I had, life happened as it needed to play out. I had no control over the conditions and events of my life, just how I felt about it.

Addicted to Certainty

I have a friend who is a certainty addict. Honestly, he takes it to the most extreme level in all areas of his life. He needs to nail down everything permanently and uses words like NEVER, ABSOLUTELY and FOREVER all the time. But like with everyone, things change for him and those promises of forever, never or absolutely end up as dust in the wind.

From my perspective, it is easy to see that he is just scared and that results in a desperate need for security. All the promises in the world and taking steps to secure everything won’t solve his problem, just like it didn’t mine.

Change used to scare the hell out of me. I would put my hands up to ward it off and struggled to make sure things stayed put. Of course nothing ever did, change is inevitable; in fact, change and choice is our very reason for being. All my struggling and wrestling with uncertainty only served to frustrate me, and those around me. The more I fought against it, the more I felt afraid and out of control.

Get Comfortable With Uncertainty – That’s Where the Power Is

One of the most valuable things my EFT coach said to me was “you better learn to get comfortable with uncertainty.” She was right! There is extreme power in embracing and causing change rather than fighting against it.

What comes to mind is the line of a song “hold on loosely but don’t let go.” We grasp hold so tightly especially to people that we end up strangling them and making them feel imprisoned, rather than loved. Where if we let them be to grow and change, we could grow and change right along with them and be better together. Sadly, instead, we try to put them in a box and keep them there, the same way that we found them. This practice often ruins relationships. I learned that the hard way and I wish I had let my man be free of my incessant need for promises, security, and absolutes. We might still be together if I had held on loosely and not let go.

Turn it Over

By flipping it over and embracing the idea that nothing stays the same, and whatever might be just around the corner could be great, inspires me to feel hopeful and excited rather than scared or anxious.

It is a simple mindful change, nothing more. I used to feel that way; now I choose to feel this way. It is much nicer to look at uncertainty with wonder and anticipation instead of fear.

Over the past three years, I have changed everything about my life. Now, I love change. I seek out change, and when I am bored, I make even more changes, just to shake things up. Uncertainty has no power over me. It can no longer hurt me, and I am not afraid.

I have made uncertainty my friend, and I look forward to the deliciousness of what might come next!