Many of us grew up independent with a sense of pride in taking care of ourselves. I was like that, always fine going it alone and figuring things out the best way I could. I would never ask for help from anyone, ever.
No Choice But to Ask for Help
Then a few years ago, I got really sick and had to have surgery. My life was on the line, and I had no choice but to trust doctors, surgeons and even friends and family members to help me. I remember that relying on others was harder than the actual illness and recuperation. I hated not being able to do for myself and having others help me.
It is not a healthy mindset being okay helping others but not wanting anyone to help us. That is how I lived most of my life. As I was forced to lean on the people closest to me to get strong again, it taught me a good lesson. However, it was one that I didn’t learn quite well enough.
Lesson Learned Again
Recently I went through a tough time even when my emotions and suffering, physically debilitated me; it didn’t even occur to me to ask for help. It wasn’t until I saw another person close to me quickly reach out for help when they needed it, that I formed the connection. I took a cue from their quick action and finally got the help I needed. But it took bringing me to my knees before I realized it. Even with all my spiritual teachings and resources, I couldn’t see the forest for the trees.
During an EFT session with my energy coach, we identified a belief that I feel that I need to “be all things to all people and help everyone or I am failing,” and that “I need to be strong and if I ask for help, I am a complete loser.” These were actual beliefs that I have held forever, but until recently never identified. No wonder I need to push myself so hard and get to the point of breaking before doing something about it.
Thankfully, I am working on clearing those beliefs and embracing help from other people.
Reminder to Self – Ask for Help!
Let this serve as simply a reminder to anyone who is like me, too proud or saddled with unhelpful beliefs that if you feel even a slight discomfort, do not hesitate to ask for help as quickly as possible. It might save you days, weeks, months or even years of suffering. We are all in this life together and being a part of someone’s life is all giving and receiving help.