For the past year, I have been drowning in a sea of self-imposed guilt. Guilt over what you ask? Well, you name it, and I have been feeling bad about it. I have been telling myself a story that I am a lousy mother, a bad daughter, a terrible writer, and pretty much awful at anything I am doing.

Logic Doesn’t Overshadow Feelings

Now logically, I know I am none of these things. I am proud of being a good mother. I feel it is one of the things I have done best in my life. My lovely daughter is the shining example. However, I put crazy, unreasonable expectations on myself and then when I am too tired or too overstressed to fulfill them, I automatically blame myself and sink deeper into guilt. Guilt and shame are terrible places to live, especially for an extended time.

Misperception Can Get in the Way Too

My father had surgery back in February, and I got really, really sick so I could not attend. I had planned on being there and was so disappointed in myself. A few weeks ago, my mother sent me a beautiful card and gift thanking me for all the meals I made and sent over and how much it helped her during that time. So here I was beating myself up for being a terrible daughter for not being there, and she appreciated all I had done.

We Are Way Too Hard on Ourselves

Unchecked, these things tend to get worse before they get better. So once I had decided I was a terrible mother, and then daughter it was only a hop, skip and a jump to take that negativity to other areas of my life. We are our own worst critics. I know I need to be more mindful and watch out for judging myself too harshly and back off a bit. I do the best I can with everything, and although I give everyone else the benefit of the doubt, I rarely if ever let myself off the hook. Helping people makes me happy but in my eyes, it’s never enough I should always do more.

Be Mindful of Guilt Creeping In

Guilt is a very dangerous road that can take us to darker places and result in health issues (which it did for me), depression, anxiety, and other mental unrest. Every single day we tell ourselves in little ways that we are not good enough or we are failing. This is why it is so important to be watchful and listen to that inner voice and stop the rant when it starts.

Be careful to treat yourself with the same kindness you would others and don’t lean too sharply into guilt if you can. We all need a little bit more forgiveness, ourselves especially. Guilt can ruin your life if you let it, but a little space and mindfulness can help ease perspective back in and turn guilt into pride and joy.