Why is it so much easier to believe the lies? Even when we have buckets of evidence of something positive, we always grab onto that one negative thing and run with it. I guess it’s human nature, but it sure makes life a bit more complicated. Hundreds of people can tell you that you are great, but we only believe that one person that says we are not. Why is that?
Am I Good Enough?
Many of us struggle with self-esteem. I have had a few different careers, and despite my outward success in each one, I always felt “less than.” I felt like everyone else was better than me, and I just wasn’t good enough. The term “imposter syndrome” fits the bill for what I feel.
Ten years ago, I wanted to switch careers, but I didn’t feel good enough. So, I started small and accumulated small successes to feed my self-esteem. I grew a significant writing business and have had great success. I even wrote and published a children’s book recently.
However, even with all that, I still sometimes feel that pull toward not being good enough.
The Client from Hell
I started the onboarding process with a new client recently, and there were warning flags I shouldn’t have ignored. I should have walked away. Instead, I moved forward with them, and they showed their true colors right off.
First, they accused me of submitting my first assignment late (which I did not, I submitted it early). Then their “editor” cited several ridiculous errors, which again were bogus. I don’t submit my work unless I know it is flawless. The final straw was when they came back after I wrote a huge piece for them, and they made a derogatory comment about it but wouldn’t provide actual details. I know my work, and the piece was excellent because I spent hours researching and writing it according to the client’s specifications.
Their goal was to get out of paying me for my work. I was duped by writing two long-form articles, for which I am sure I will never see a dime. I should have let it go, but of course, their negative comments hit me hard, and I started to feel that old nagging feeling of not being good enough.
How to Not Believe the Lies
It didn’t take long for feelings of rejection to set in, leaving me hopeless and depressed. So, I immediately leaned into my spiritual practice to make myself feel better. The Tapping Solution has this “I am enough” series, which does wonders for my self-esteem. I did that along with a couple of other mediations, and I felt a lot better, and I am resisting the urge to listen to those pesky negative thoughts that want to tell me lies about how I am not good enough.
I have spent ten years writing professionally, and I have been lucky to work with lots of big and small clients, so I must be doing something right. That’s the logic of it, but it’s not always easy to apply logic when you feel bad about something.
We are all vulnerable to having our confidence shaken by a hurtful comment or mistreatment. That is when we must dig deep and fill ourselves with loving kindness and positive self-talk.
Sometimes the world can be a cruel place. Not everyone will give you positive feedback or even be polite about constructive feedback. So, it’s up to each one of us to nurture our self-esteem and give ourselves a pat on the back that we need to move forward.
We will remain hurt if we believe the lies. So, let’s instead start believing the truth about who we are and our strengths and gifts. Not everyone will like us, and that is okay. What is more important is loving ourselves and being our own best friend providing comforting words when we need them the most. We cannot always rely on others to raise us back up, but we can rely on ourselves.
Let those nasty comments roll off your back and move forward with your shoulders squared and your head held high. YOU ARE ENOUGH!