I watched a great Gabby Bernstein webinar the other night with a bucket full of great advice on how to be more mindful, and in alignment. During the talk, a guest asked the question “how do I help others when I feel so insecure?”

You Don’t Have to Be Perfect To Help Others

I loved Gabby’s answer so much! She reminded the woman that at the beginning of her talk she told a story. She said an hour before the webinar, right before she would be standing in front of 15,000 people talking about how to better their lives, she had a meltdown about a bad haircut. She laughed as she told the story and reassured the woman; you don’t have to perfect, to help others. When you teach and help others, it heals you.

Don’t Listen to Doubt, Fear, and Insecurity

What a fantastic lesson! So often I feel the tendrils of doubt creep in when I think “how can I help anyone else when I feel like I am a mess some days?” Other times I question “who am I to pass along all this information, what do I know?” Well, I am someone who has experienced a lot in life, and those daily lessons teach me a lot. I get to find out how I want to experience things and how I want to be in relationship to them.

Just Do Your Best, Don’t Worry About the Rest

For example, this week I went overboard helping someone. I gave them a crazy good deal on a website. I did it as a favor because their parent is a good friend of mine. Not only did this person not appreciate the enormous discount and all the time I put in, but they were also insulting, rude and even nasty. I finally terminated the projected, then they decided to threaten and bully me. I shut it down with a well-written email that detailed the accounting of things, but it left me wondering…

Did I handle it as best as I could? Was there anything else I could have done? I bounced it off a friend to make sure. I did try everything in my power to help; to continue to make things work but this client wouldn’t budge and give me anything to work with. You cannot reason with someone who is not in his or her right mind. So, in the end, I feel pretty good about how I handled it. Even when this person quickly devolved, I stayed the course, kept all my correspondence professional and terminated the phone call when they got hostile.

Continue to Keep Tabs on Old Behaviors

My “old” perfectionist ways sometimes creep back in, and I have to be aware, keep conscious and do my meditation work on keeping them at bay. Being perfect is not only impossible, but the desire or continued effort to try to be perfect is actually hurtful to ourselves.

In this specific instance, I wanted to make the situation perfect and it kept hurting me by allowing myself to be attacked by this unpleasant person. I finally remembered, I can’t help someone who doesn’t want help and I can’t fix everyone. Then I allowed myself to let it go and let it be messy, not perfect. That is when I started to feel better.

Be Happy Just as You Are

So today, I am totally fine not being perfect. I am growing, changing and learning every day how to be the best me I can be. I am good with that, and I don’t need or want any more. I am grateful that I can experience unpleasantness and quickly rebound and stay happy, joyful and peaceful and I wish you the same.