A good portion of my life was spent trying hard to be what everyone else wanted me to be. The problem was, it was like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. I was just not built that way. I am a unique individual with very specific traits, and those closest to me know the authentic me.
Hiding the Weirdness
I spent years hiding all my weird little idiosyncrasies to fit in. When I would slip up and let one of them show and someone would comment, I felt shame for being who I was. When this happened, I quickly got back into line and stifled my natural inclination to be who I was.
I know other people who change their voices when they get on the phone or act differently around certain people. They, too, are hiding their authentic selves to fit in or be more like what they think they should be rather than who they are.
Being Authentic and Being Accepted
This Christmas, my lovely, beautiful daughter wrapped a gift in a bag that had little silver spaceships on it and dinosaurs. The bag was almost better than the gift, and here is why. I have always loved dinosaurs. They are fascinating to me and I am enthralled by their history, and the story of their instant extinction. I also love X-files and everything that goes with the alien theme of things. She knows me so well.
Later after everyone had gone home, I thought to myself, “it is so good to be authentic and known.” My daughter, who grew up knowing the real me knows what I like, what I am about, and she loves and accepts me regardless of any strange behaviors or preferences. I get acceptance from her on a level that no one else can match.
Hot Pink is My Color
I LOVE the color pink and I have since I was a young child. I have a lot of bright pink clothing. Years ago, my boyfriend bought me a full length down coat, and he asked what color I wanted…you guessed it, bright pink. I am sure I am quite a sight in it, but I love that coat. Even now, years later, it keeps me warmer than any other.
His mother, however, detested the fact that I wanted pink instead of a classy color like gray or black. Back then, I felt embarrassed whenever I was around her because she did make insensitive comments about it. Now, I don’t care what anyone thinks. I will wear my pink coat wherever and whenever I want to.
Being Authentic Should Not Be a Choice
Being authentic shouldn’t be a choice or something we hide to please others. It’s the only way to feel normal and right in the world. We were meant to be our authentic selves, always, not just home alone when no one is watching.
So, I say, wear your freak flag proud and be who you are! For 2020, make a goal to be your most authentic self and be exactly who you are. Let the rest of the world worry about how that makes them feel. You are pure, whole, and beautiful just as you are, and don’t let anyone else tell you differently!