In keeping with my recent theme, I will mention again I am selling my house. It went on the market a few days ago. All summer and fall everyone has been talking about how it’s a “seller’s market” around here and houses are scarce, so they are selling for full price within just a few days. That’s all I needed to hear to paint a full-blown picture in my mind. I created an expectation of my house being sold within minutes after it hit the market.
Open House Blues
We had the open house last Saturday, and it was dismal. It rained, and a ton more leaves came down after we had just cleaned the yard. Then on Sunday, I had another promising showing, but then the guy did not make an offer; he changed his mind. He had talked about wanting to paint some walls, so it sounded like he was ready to buy. I was surprised and disappointed when he backed out. My realtor didn’t get back to him very quickly with some additional information he wanted, and I wasn’t happy about that either.
The Resentment List Grows
Early on, my realtor showed signs of non-interest. She doesn’t get back to me very quickly, and after the showing, I didn’t hear from her for hours. She never made me copies of the paperwork I signed, and she rushed the photos, so the first batch came out awful. Because I had bought and sold houses before, I had clear expectations for my realtor, and she failed at every turn. After the poor showing, I started sulking over her lack of proper marketing, and my list of resentments toward her grew and grew.
If you are like me you have a running dialogue in your head and boy did I ever have one about her. I mulled over the stuff she was doing that irritated me and the things she wasn’t doing that I thought she should do. I kept adding to the list to make my case against her. Of course, she has no idea how I feel about it, but I do, and I am sure it colors my interactions with her. I am disappointed in her and myself.
Never Be Disappointed Again
After my daily meditation yesterday I read a quote that I loved. It didn’t fully sink it until my friend repeated it to me today. The quote was from Alexander Pope and it says, “blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” It sounds simple, but it is very accurate. If you do not expect anything particular you cannot be disappointed and acceptance is so much easier.
I always have expectations of people, things and myself. These expectations turn into resentments, guilt, anger, and disappointment when things don’t go my way. An expectation is a set up for resentment. You and the other person can’t help but always lose. If you have no expectations, you can’t get upset later.
Great Reminder About Expectation
I feel grateful for this reminder that I need to stop setting myself and others up for failure. It is healthier for me to just let them be who they are and allow things to happen as they will. I have far less control than I like to think I do.
Try just for a day then a week, later maybe a month to rid yourself of all expectation and see how much easier life is. I am betting it will feel lighter, simpler and more peaceful. I sure am going to try!