Everyone wants to feel empowered, but not all of us do, especially in certain situations. I have always been super independent and strong-willed, except in a relationship. In my romantic life, I handed over the keys and gave away all my power, which was unhealthy for me.

In business, I was successful, but in relationships, I was a mess. I wasn’t my authentic self, which caused me to resent my partner and act out until I learned how to empower myself in relationships and all other areas of my life.

Why Do We Give Away Our Power?

Many of us model the relationship roles we witnessed as kids. My parents were very traditional, with my dad as the big, strong man and breadwinner and my mother as a housewife taking care of the kids. Even though my true nature was wild-hearted and stubborn, as soon as I was an adult, I started modeling my mother’s subservient behavior in relationships, and I hated myself for it.

Some people give up power for other reasons. They may struggle with PTSD, insecurity, mental illness, dependency, or scars from past relationships. Others may be dealing with manipulative, abusive partners.

Regardless of the reason, remaining in a relationship where you feel powerless is neither healthy nor sustainable.

How to Change Unwanted Behavior

I had three failed relationships in my rearview mirror when I finally realized that I was modeling someone else’s behavior in my partnerships. I wasn’t being true to myself, and it was hurting me.

Change is hard, and it often takes time. We are creatures of habit. It is by no means impossible, but it takes some work. Over the past ten years, I learned a lot about myself and my default behaviors in a relationship, and I worked on changing those to align with who I truly am.

Changing behavior takes practice. The more you practice, the better you get at it. The first step is becoming good at self-awareness so you can witness your unhealthy behaviors and then make changes.

The next step toward empowering you in relationships is to investigate the origins of your behavior and then form a new habit that helps you change. Journaling is a crucial resource during this process. There is great power in writing. Be sure to jot down every time you witness yourself continuing an unhealthy behavioral pattern, then pause and switch to your new behavior. Wash, rinse, and repeat until you have it down.

Tips for Empowering You in Relationships

Relationships are tricky enough without carrying all our baggage into them. We all do it, but you can change if you are aware of it. You can’t fix what you can’t see.

Empowering yourself in the relationship is a process. I coach women on building their self-confidence, regaining focus, indulging in healthy self-care, cultivating independence, and incorporating more space in their relationships to feel empowered, fulfilled, and free.

Some of the ways to empower yourself in a relationship are:

  • Set healthy boundaries and enforce them.
  • Develop healthy communication skills.
  • Deepen your self-improvement practice (daily).
  • Heal old wounds and traumas.
  • Dissolve limiting beliefs.
  • Build confidence by making healthy choices.
  • Learn how to forgive and forget to free yourself of guilt.
  • Stretch your creative legs and follow your passion.
  • Practice more loving detachment.
  • Build a life outside of your relationships with plenty of space.
  • Grow your independence.

When I was at my lowest point, I got the help I needed by working with an excellent coach. She helped me heal the parts of myself that I felt were broken.

Now, paying it forward, I want to help other women achieve the same freedom, empowerment, and joy I feel today.

If you struggle to feel empowered in your life or relationship and want to work one-on-one with me, I would love to help you. Please get in touch with me or book a session online.

I have put together a coaching program that spans ten years of experience, tools, resources, and daily practices to be the best version of myself. I would not be where I am now without getting the help I needed. Don’t wait until you are in crisis; put yourself first and take that first step towards an empowered you.

I am also offering a workshop called “Empowering You in Relationships” for women’s groups and other organizations that support personal growth.

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