Recently I have been bothered by this recurring resentment. There is a person in my life, and every time I think about them, I get angry. I feel hurt, and the resentment builds. Pretty soon, I am having a conversation in my head with them, and it’s confrontational and unpleasant. I am upset that I can’t shake this resentment, can you help?
Asking a Friend for Help
I have been experiencing this resentment for a while now, and I don’t quite understand why. The person has done and said mean things to me, but I have minimal exposure to them, and other people have done much worse. For some reason, this particular person just grates on my nerves. I suspect it may have to do with the possibility that I see some of myself in them.
I asked a friend what the best way to eliminate a resentment was. Although he is deeply involved in a spiritual program that dictates how to deal with resentments, he has his own thoughts on that. He reminded me that he prefers to think of them as a sick person, they don’t know what they are doing and very possibly aren’t even aware they hurt you. His approach is helpful, but I am not sure it works for me. I still feel the sting of the hurt they caused me and I feel strongly about accountability. Although usually, I don’t hold grudges, I am less apt to let someone get away with bad behavior regardless of the reasons.
Mindfulness is my Silver Lining
Even though I have been struggling with this, my friend did mention, “at least you are noticing it, and that is huge!” He is right. I forgot all about that piece. I am mindful enough to notice every single time this person enters my mind, and the instant reaction in my body, my negative thoughts, and how I run with it. Noticing is the first step in changing it. You can’t change anything unless you are mindful of what you are doing.
How Do I Shake This Resentment?
The thing is, this resentment is only hurting me. The other person has no idea how I feel, except maybe energetically. I have not spoken to them or voiced it due to many reasons; it is not an option. However, I want to rid myself of this anger and resentment, how do I do it?
If you have any thoughts on the subject or a method that works for you, please comment below and share them with me. I would love to hear your thoughts and solutions.