Lately, I have noticed how prevalent insecurity is, especially among creative people. It always shocks me when I see a famous person whom everyone treats as a master, and yet inside, this person worries that they aren’t good enough.
Why Do We All Feel Like We Aren’t Good Enough?
Much like most things, it starts at the beginning with how we are raised. Many people who become parents don’t realize that every single thing they do or say affects their little ones.
I know some people who are stuck in the rut of putting others down. When kids see this, they tend to reflect that same behavior. Some parents even put their own kids down regularly. Combine that with the expectations set by TV, movies, the media, school, and peers, and we don’t stand a chance.
How could anyone feel good enough when faced with so much pressure to be more than what they are?
We Teach People How to Treat Us
By our own actions, we teach people how to treat us. If we allow someone to get away with something once, they will forever repeat that behavior. If someone judges us and decides we aren’t good enough, whether a parent, teacher, peer, or manager, it’s up to us to throw out their assessment and choose to believe differently.
In so many words, clients, teachers, loved ones, and job associates told me I wasn’t good enough. My mistake was in believing them. Why? It’s easier to believe the bad stuff than the good.
I spent years working on myself and building my confidence so that, even if someone blatantly puts me down, I know it’s their problem, not mine. I am good enough.
Stephen King and J.K. Rowling spent years being rejected by people who thought they weren’t good enough. Thank goodness they didn’t listen and keep pushing on. Now look at them. I wonder how those people who rejected their work as “inferior” feel now. It’s just one person’s opinion; it doesn’t mean they are right. I keep reminding myself of that.
The Solution: Decide That You Are Good Enough
Even big shots get scared and worry that they are not enough when no one is around. That makes me feel a little better. If they can feel insecure, it makes sense why I would. But feeling not good enough is not okay.
I had a heated debate the other day with my partner about religion and how most of them, from the get-go, set you up to feel not good enough, as though you came into this world bad. No baby ever born is bad or wrong. It’s how they are treated that shapes them and molds their actions.
I have a big problem believing in a God who judges you from day one and shames you for your actions based on their design. I told my boyfriend that God is the only entity I feel loved by who doesn’t judge me. That is the God for me.
It’s Up to You
Although you may have had many people telling you that you don’t measure up, stop listening to them. They don’t matter. YOU matter. Tell yourself you are good enough. We are all deeply flawed and broken human beings. No one person is better than another. We are all enough, with all our scars, traumas, warts, good and bad traits; none of it matters.
Decide right this minute that you are good enough and won’t allow anyone to tell you differently. You are the only one whose opinion matters on this subject. Give yourself what the world can’t. Start cultivating more self-love today; you deserve it!